by Alan Cohen

Alan Cohen
Acclaimed speaker and best selling author

While visiting Japan I had a breakfastmeeting with my Japanese sponsor at aresort hotel. Sitting in a corner of the diningroom, our meeting went on beyond the timebreakfast was served, and the staff wascleaning the dining room tables. I felt badabout occupying a table during the cleaningperiod, but no one said anything, so mysponsor and I continued.

Our meeting went on into the time thatthe lunch buffet opened, and I thought forsure we should leave, since the buffet wasexpensive and the hotel might think we weretrying to stay for a free lunch. At that point awaiter came to us, carrying a tray. I thoughthe was going to ask us to leave, but when Ilooked at the tray, I saw that he was bringingus a tea service. "I thought you might likesome refreshment," he told us as he servedus graciously.

I was deeply touched by this thoughtfulact. My mind had gone into guilt aboutoverstaying our welcome, but the waiter'smind went to kindness and consideration.A Course in Miracles tells us that thereare only two belief systems: love and fear.Every thought we have, feeling we feel,and act we do proceeds from one of thoseworlds or the other. Guilt, owingness,and punishment are the offspring of fear.Innocence, grace, and relief issue from love.At every moment you are choosing betweenthe two and reaping the resultant experienceof the choice you have made.

We have heard a lot about the Law ofKarma, but not so much about the Law ofGrace. I often hear people rationalize theirills by saying, "I guess this is just my karmaI have to pay off." Or, "He deserves that. It'shis karma." We are too prone to use karmato justify pain, when we could use grace tojustify our release from pain.

We have made up lots of storiesabout God, many of which we use to hurtourselves. Voltaire said, "God created us inHis image and likeness, and we returned thecompliment." Someone else said, "If God iswho we think He is, He could use a coursein anger management." Perhaps it is time tomake up a new story about God, one closerto the truth of a love.

We are often harder on ourselves thanothers are harder on us. Friends usuallyhave more space for our humanness thanwe do. After I had scheduled a massage,another meeting came up and I had tochange my massage appointment. Then myschedule changed again and I needed tocall my massage therapist John to changethe appointment again. "I'm terribly sorryfor having to reschedule again," I told him.To my surprise, John answered, "That's allright. If you need to change it again, just letme know."

I was stunned. I had held myself injudgment for inconveniencing John, whenhe supported me to do what I needed to do.Now, many years later, when someone needsto change an appointment with me and I startto feel disappointed or irritated, I rememberthe grace John showed me and I try to passit along to my friends and clients.

To put grace into action we need toreframe what we believe are our sins orthose of others. We can see such acts assimply errors or purposeful experiences thathelp us grow. "Sin" is an acronym for SelfInflicted Nonsense. We make up all kindsof stories about how we are guilty for thisand we deserve to suffer for that, when ourpain comes not from God, but from our selffulfillingprophecy. It's time to make up abetter prophecy that brings us relief ratherthan travail.

If you would like to do an upliftingexercise to undo fear, guilt, and blame, takea piece of paper and write down everythingyou think is wrong about you, your life, andthose around you. List physical, relationship,financial, and spiritual issues, and anythingelse you can think of that you hold yourself,others, or the world under the onus ofnegative judgment. Then hold the paperbetween your hands and pray sincerely.

"Dear God, please let me be wrong about allof this."

Your prayer is answered instantlybecause your judgments about what iswrong are wrong. When you are intent onbeing right about what is wrong, what iswrong stays wrong. When you are intent onbeing right about what is right, what is rightexpands and gets better.

You made up the world you see. You canre-make it up if you choose. Love or fear ―there are no other options. Fortunately, whatyou see through the eyes of love is real,and all that you see through fear is born ofillusion. When fear is ready to kick you out,grace would serve you tea.