Don't Knit in Meetings
| 2010 - June |
Oooooo, this is gunna cause a ripple! That's what I love about it! And that's why I have my own show—'cause I have an opinion. People without opinions don't get their own shows. So, here goes! This is going to be fun!
Rumor has it that way back in the day—and I do mean way back in the day; even before I got off the junk-- the men and women leading the newbies through the 12 steps used to make a big fuss about actually getting "cleaned up." What I mean is, there was great emphasis on dressing appropriately, general hygiene, behaving well, and consideration and respect for others—especially in the meeting place. I have an idea that the aftercare meetings of the 1930's (if there had been such a thing) would have been full of freshly showered men with combed hair, tied ties, and crossed legs. Regardless of where they had come from, now that they were sober, they would open doors for the elderly. They would take their hats off when introducing themselves. They would show up to the meeting on time, and pay attention for a full hour. There seemed to be an emphasis on becoming a gentleman once the plug was in the jug. I'm fairly certain that while drunk, they were just as obnoxious and inappropriate as the rest of us.
It was a warm June day in 1992 when I pulled my head out of my rear end. Even just 17.75 years ago, there was a conversation buzzing around about being prepared for any recovery-related meeting before the meeting began— the general rules were to show up early, get your coffee and use the restroom before you sit down, stay awake, and do not get out of your seat until the meeting is over. And, keep your feet on the floor, turn your beeper off, and don't be a distraction. Yeah, that's right, I said beeper. And, I meant it.
If it sounds like people were running around telling other people what to do and how to live, then I'm giving an accurate description of the times. That's exactly what was happening. And it was good.
To assume that the new guy has any idea of what standard or common rules of conduct are, or that he has any interest in them whatsoever, is a stretch. So, we need to tell him what's what. When I say we, I mean you.
Why should you fill him in on the goods? Because it makes a difference.
I think it's all good—all of the direction I got in early recovery was powerful. As far as I'm concerned, we should continue the tradition of telling the truth to the people who have no idea how to live.
The issue of arriving to a meeting on time and sitting through the whole thing with your full attention on the solutions being shared is pretty much a no brainer—it's necessary. It's also just plain rude to create a distraction for others with a cel phone game, crafts, and constant upping and downing for coffee or cigarette breaks. It could be argued that humbling oneself to consideration of others is building that muscle that will really work when times get tough—the muscle of humility and service to others. In that sense, this could actually be a life saving topic.
What I've noticed is that we can easily become more concerned with whether or not we hurt someone's feelings than we are with whether or not we save their life. So, maybe there's a way to communicate these life saving measures without ruffling a bunch of feathers.
Do you remember that expression, "take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth?" I love that one. It instills humility. It's a polite way of telling someone that they don't know anything and that they should stop acting like they do. In the spirit of a soft landing, I've come up with some expressions that I'd like to offer up in your quest to serve the greater good. Please feel free to use any of these that inspire you: "If you don't think it's rude, it probably is."
"Here's something you may find interesting-- I also exist."
"Unless you're texting God, it can wait until after we close."
"Did you hear—oh, no, you didn't hear that. You weren't in your seat when that guy shared the answer to all of life's problems. Oh well. Maybe next time."
"Do you want to boff me? Because your outfit says you do."
"Hello! How am I?"
"What's your ringtone called? Right, right. Every time I hear it go off during the noon gathering, it always reminds me of this song they used to play when I first got clean and sober called Turn Your Phone Off During Meetings. God, that was a good song. Really brings me back."
"Looks like you're a very crafty girl, there, with all of your supplies. Why don't you knit yourself a warm blanket of consideration for others… when you get home? Don't knit in meetings."
Now, look, I don't have all the answers. But, I sure as heck have a few! And I hope you'll enjoy implementing some of them. What makes me the expert? Not much. But, as I mentioned, I do have my own show, and it's dang funny.
Speaking of the show-- it's already time to plug that thing! I hope you'll join us on www.BagheadSponsor.com for some ridiculous recovery videos, including this article's companion video on "Don't Knit in Meetings!" It's almost as if decent and hilarious commentary on the 12 step program of your choice is just a mouse click away. Until next time-- don't drink, drug, or try to off yourself. Oh, and about that cotton…
Xoxo, BagheadSponsor
www.BagheadSponsor.com
Saving lives. One episode at a time.
Baghead Sponsor Music Video: Knitting in Meetings from BagheadSponsor.com
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