Here’s a question: When does “live and let live” become “live and let die?” Are you familiar with that old expression about being our brother’s keeper? I think it’s from the big, big book. Without being offended by that fact, let’s be grateful for the sound advice it offers.

If a few good people hadn’t told me the truth from the beginning of my recovery, I may not be here today. Matter o’ fact, I’d rather be sober with a strong opinion about how people should mind their own business,than die drunk thinking about those nice people who didn’t call me out when I was straying from the Truth. You dig?

Y’know there are several times that I can remember hanging up on my spiritual advisor, in early recovery, offended at her proposal that I had no idea how to run my own life. (There’s nothing like the truth to piss off an alchy!) Looking back, I realize that she selflessly put aside any concern that I might not like her, and risked her reputation with me, in order to spare my life. See, she knew that my own ideas had the power to kill me. And she was right.

Moreover, I was wrong. I was wrong about most things. I had no idea how to distinguish the true from the false, especially when it came to my own life. With the best of intentions, I continually created wreckage and destruction in my life and relationships, and placed myself in harm’s way. Standing in the truth of her experience, or in some conference-approved literature, my spiritual advisor ignored my tantrums and did her best to redirect my thoughts, ideas, motives and actions wherever possible. Against all odds, I began to recover spiritually, mentally, and physically. Thankfully, I have a wonderful advisor today, who does the same as my first. I tell her the whole truth, and she tells me the whole truth. I go to her with an idea, and she redirects my thinking if it needs redirecting. The only difference being that, now, I welcome the life-saving input!

Oh, look-- it’s time for an opinion! Now, I’m just a girl with a bag on her head, but I have been clean and sober for 17(+) years, so I fancy myself a bit of an expert on what works for 17 years. Plus, I have my own show. In any case—here it is! My opinion: “Fellowshipping” is great— if it’s with people who are walking The Path, and if they are willing to get in my face and tell me when I’m straying from the principles that I choose to live by, now that I’m clean and sober. My next opinion is that the real meat of recovery gets lost in all the social stuff. At times, recovery becomes about going out to eat, drinking coffee with the cool kids, having sober parties and “hanging with the winners.” Overreliant upon our fellows, we rest in the delusion that because they aren’t sticking a dirty needle in their arm, our peers are walking pictures of mental health. Not necessarily so, my friends! I suggest taking a closer look. To be clear, I suggest taking inventory of your fellows. That’s right—I said it. And I meant it.

Here are some questions that I might ask myself, to get the lay of the land of my support system: Does someone that I trust to guide me in the path of righteous living know the whole truth about me? Do I need help in sorting out the truth? Do I need help in redirecting my own motives? Am I on the beam? What does applied recovery look like? Have I been ignoring old behavior in my friends, in people I’m working steps with, or in myself? Where can I tell the truth that I have been afraid to, and that would make a difference? Do I have a friend who is on the path to a drink, and can I point something out that could save him? Am I more interested in what people think of me, or in carrying the message that saves lives? Am I more interested in going to coffee than I am in talking to the new person? Is there a way that I could contribute to my friends’ recovery? Am I surrounded by people who are living life based on the principles they claim to have adopted, or are they sharing clean and living dirty? If I can’t impact them, where can I find people who are interested in doing the real work of recovery, rather than just the superfluous sober social life? Where can I find people who will call me out on my stuff?

Pretty confronting, eh? I know! What do you do if you face facts and you’re surrounded by a bunch of losers? Well, in my experience, and while I’m all for a healthy social life, there have been periods of my recovery where I’ve spent a good deal of time alone, or with a few trusted friends, because the mental or emotional climate of my peers was dangerous for me. And it all worked out just fine! If you need entertainment while you’re waiting for some like-minded people to show up, you can always watch the show on BagheadSponsor.com.

Speaking of the show, Cupid’s arrow! It’s time to plug it and close the article! I hope you’ll join us on www.BagheadSponsor.com for some ridiculous recovery videos, including this article’s companion video, featuring Chris R. I’m just sayin’! Until next time -- don’t drink, drug, or try to offyourself.
Xoxo, BagheadSponsor
www.BagheadSponsor.com
Saving lives. One episode at a time.

Baghead Sponsor Episode 11: Chris Raymer and Telling the TRUTH from BagheadSponsor on Vimeo.