Cleaning up the New Year
| 2010 - January |
Happy New Year! Can we talk about something? Cool-- thanks.
So, here’s the deal: On our show, and in our articles we like to tell it like it is. Why? Well, in short-- we think it saves lives. If people hadn’t told me the truth from the beginning of my recovery, I may not be here today. You dig? You should probably stop reading now if you’re easily offended.
It’s the New Year! It’s time to take stock of what you want in your life and what you actually have. So, here’s a question for you: What’s up with your presentation? What I mean by presentation is – How do you smell? Is your hair a wreck? Been to the dentist in the last year? Done much laundry lately? Is your attire distracting? Does your clothing accurately portray the new, recovering you who holds a degree of self respect?
A quick story: When I was lounging around in one of my first rehab facilities, I was told that the way I was applying my make-up was due to the fact that I was tremendously insecure (at the time I was drawing enormous eyelashes on my eye lids using black liquid eye liner) and that I was hiding behind my make up out of fear. Needless to say, I stopped drawing my lashes on immediately, lest someone find a chink in my coat of armor. The bustier I frequently wore took another couple years to be replaced with teeny tiny shorts. (Progress not perfection.) Eventually I began wearing clothes that flattered my shape and facilitated my own self-respect. It took a while because that was my game—lure people in with the tough girl/sexy façade and then push them away as soon as they started to see the real me-- all out of an unbelievable fear of being rejected. I wasn’t enjoying the game; I just didn’t know how else to live.
Now I do.
Now listen here, I’m no fashion expert! I’m certainly not talking about personalstyle or even conforming to someone else’s idea of what’s “appropriate.” I have no idea what’s appropriate for you—only you know that. What I do know is that how I present myself to the world actually affects my experience of life and of myself. And, oddly enough, I’m interested in the best experience of life possible. You?
I’m going to share with you how to rid yourself and your closet of the stuff that makes you look like a slut or a homeless junkie with low self-esteem, whichever the case may be. But, first—two tips! The fist tip is: TRUST GOD. This de-cluttering of the past is a scary process, because if you’re newly recovering or if you’ve not done this type of thing since you got sober, it’s likely that most of your attire is either torn to shreds, dirty, outdated, the wrong size, or slutty (ifyou’re a woman) which will leave you with virtually nothing in your closet. But, I promise you—based on my personal experience—God will provide. Your job is to TRUST. The second tip is: BE HONEST with yourself when you’re going through your things and asking the questions below.
Okay! Here’s what you want to do—designate of a solid chunk of time (maybe 3.5 hours for the first round.) Decide if you’re going to create piles, use boxes, or bring the garbage bin in from outside. (Consider donating clothes in good condition to a half way house nearby.) Decide if you need emotional support from a friend and call someone to help out if you do.
Now that you’re prepared, and you have a nice amount of time to dedicate to yourself and your recovery, you’re going to examine each item of clothing (socks and underwear included) and ask these questions:
- Does this item have holes in it? is it worn or very faded?
-if yes, it goesin the THROW AWAY pile - Does this item accurately support who I am in recovery today, or who I plan to become?
-if no, put it in the THROW AWAY or DONATE pile - Doesthis item make me feel good about myself?
-if no, it goes in the THROW AWAY or DONATE pile - Does this item compensate for some way that I think poorly of myself?
-if yes, it goes in the THROW AWAY or DONATE pile - Does this item make me feel a sense of abundance?
-if no, it goes in THROW AWAY or DONATE - Does this item remind me of the past, which I want to let go of?
-if yes, put it in the DONATE or THROW AWAY pile - Am I holding on to this item because I am afraid of letting go, or because I’mtrying to uphold an image that no longer serves me?
-if yes, put it in the DONATE or THROW AWAY pile - Is this item necessary, and does it fit me, in no uncertain terms?
-if no, it goes in THROW AWAY or DONATE - Is it time to let this item go?
-if yes, put it in the THROW AWAY or DONATE pile - Do I LOVE this item and does it LIFT my spirits?
-if YES, and you’ve made it through all of the questions - put it in the KEEP pile.
Finally, when you’ve gone through all of your items of clothing, go back through your KEEP pile one more time and ask yourself:
Do I absolutely LOVE this item?
If yes—make sure it’s clean and put it in it’s proper place
If no—it goes in the THROW AWAY o rDONATE pile immediately
If this is your first attempt at clearing out your clutter ,at the end of the exercise you will likely have very few items of clothing left. That’s good! Now is the time to let go—and let God take care of you from here. Do NOT look back! Get rid of the Throw Away and Donate piles as quickly as possible by taking them to the dumpster or the nearest halfway house.
Congratulations! Enjoy your new found liberation!
See, based on my experience I believe these two things about holding on to junk from the past:
- As the result of a spiritual transformation, I naturally feel led to de-clutter and take better care of myself
- By de-cluttering and taking better care of myself, I naturally trust and rely upon the God of my understanding a tiny bit more than I did when I was holding on to all my crap.
Pretty simple.
If you are committed to taking care of your health and well being in the New Year, the next thing you may want to do is make yourself some general care appointments—dentist, check-up/physical at the doctor, hair cut, nutritionist, gym.
If you’re not rolling in the dough, you may need to get creative-- go get a haircut at your local beauty school, find a sliding scale doctor or nutritionist, check out a dental school for heavy dental work (I gota ton of stuff done cheap!), have a clothing swap party, find a place that offers free yoga or fitness training, or get wild and do something physical that’s free (like walking down your street).
For the women, take a trip up to the shopping mall and meet with one of the people at the make-up counters who can give you an updated look—they do makeovers for free at most counters (at some counters you are required to purchase an item.) Tell the beauty consultant that you’reinterested in a new look that will bring out your natural beauty—nothing too heavy.
All in all, the idea here is to let go of the past and let the new you shine through—and if that doesn’t happen then sit with the emptiness until a new you appears. Either way, I’m excited for ya!
Happy New Year, it’s time to close and plug the show! I hope you’ll join us on www.BagheadSponsor.com for some ridiculous recovery videos, including this article’s companion video on “not needing to dress like a slut in order to be loved.” Until next time… do the next right thing, take it easy, and whatever you do-- don’t drink, drug, or try to off yourself. Oh, and happy de-cluttering!
Xoxo, BagheadSponsor
www.BagheadSponsor.com
Saving lives. One episode at a time.
Episode 12: You Don't Have to Dress Like That from BagheadSponsor on Vimeo.
( 1 Vote )
