Making it Through Holiday Parties Without Even a Tiny Sip of Alcohol

by Baghead Sponsor

I remember my first sober New Years Eve; I was in treatment. I had misbehaved and was sent to bed early. Needless to say, I did not drink that night, which was progress. Being locked up provides a certain sense of safety for someone who is trying to stay off the sauce. But in the real world, which is pretty much consistently “lit up” during the holiday season, you’ve got a different situation altogether.

So, here’s a question: How is the clean and sober alcoholic/addict supposed to shmooze without the booze?! The holidays (and they all come at once, don’t they?) present work parties, neighborhood parties, and even ordinary whoopee parties like burnt out bulbs on last year’s string of lights; E-vites fill our inboxes, flyers adorn the walls of our home group, and people wearing battery operated sweaters hound us to “Stop by- it’ll be fun!”

Will it? Will it be fun?

Well, as your BagheadSponsor, I assert that is up to YOU, my little reindeer! Now, put your bells on and let’s talk about how to make those parties a good time without getting sloshed! Right now, you’re probably silently questioning, “What makes you the expert, BagheadSponsor?” Well, not much. But, I am the host of an online show (BagheadSponsor.com); I hope that’ll do.

Now I’m not big on tips and tricks—I think solid recovery is a result of having had a spiritual experience through working the 12 steps of your chosen program out of sheer desperation and hopelessness. But, I am big on the application of things that work! So, here are a few things to consider, before we get to the schmoozing part:

How to not accidentally get trashed at an alcohol related holiday party:

1. Always have a non-alcoholic beverage in your hand. If you have a drink, then nobody’s going to say to you, “You need a drink! Let me get you one!” Not only that, but if you have a drink in your hand, you’ll never accidentally pick up a glass filled with alcohol, thereby destroying your life.
2. Do yourself a favor and stay away from candies you don’t recognize, or read the back of the candy box before you go eating little chocolate-y morsels of death. The last thing you want to have to deal with is whether or not to change your sobriety date because you accidentally ate a rum ball. They’re not that good, and they’re just simply not worth the trouble.
3. Stay away from the bar. How do you do that? Well, you can do any number of things- talk to people, dance, go outside, ask the host if he/she needs any help, or just take it upon yourself to bring someone some figgy pudding.
4. Stay home. Job-related or not, I’m a big fan of staying home from events where alcohol is being served if I don’t feel “quite right.” It’s not worth my life to force myself into attending a party that most people don’t want to be at anyway. Rest, ye merry gentlemen, rest.
5. Take a sober buddy. The Three Kings had each other- you should get somebody, too. You’re not asking anybody to follow a star, bearing gifts, over field and fountain until you find some baby in a no-name manger; you just want a companion at a three hour party. You should be able to find someone. If not, bring your Higher Power.

Schmoozing is another topic altogether. Here’s the real fruitcake!

How to schmooze without wanting to crawl up in Santa’s lap and cry like a baby from your massive amounts of social anxiety:

1. Get current! Check out the Yahoo or Google homepages to see what’s going on in the world (the world outside your head, I mean) so you have a few things to chat about if conversation runs dry. Oops! I mean when conversation runs dry. And try to pick out a few things that are going on that bring joy to the world—nobody likes a Donner Downer at a holiday party.
2. Don’t get stuck in the chimney of self! Talk to your fellows about them. Ask them questions about their life, their children, their career, their hobbies, their favorite movies etc. People love to talk about themselves.
3. Ask open-ended questions that require more than a frosty yes or no reply. For example, rather than “Will you be traveling during the holidays?” you might ask, “What are your plans for the holidays?” See the difference?
4. Hang out by the food! First of all-- delicious! Secondly, people can’t keep from talking about food. They love to comment on how beautiful it is, how tasty it is, how many calories it must have but how they just don’t care because it’s a holiday (!), how their grandmother made a better version, etc. Just listening can be entertaining.
5. Have an out! Look-- you’re a grown-up, by all outward appearances, and you have the right to leave when you want to leave. Make a plan to check in with a friend, your sponsor, or your Higher Power (always available) at a certain hour to see if you should put a ribbon on this party and call it a wrap. Parties are supposed to be fun. If you’re not having a decent time then wish your host good tidings, jump in your sled, and head out! Leaving when you want to leave is powerful—don’t berate yourself for it. Maybe you’d prefer a cup of hot cocoa and a good movie. That’s okay. Hey, maybe you even feel like heading home to watch a little BagheadSponsor online—that’s okay, too. It’s your life.

O Holy Night! It’s time to wrap it up and plug the show! I hope you’ll join us on www.BagheadSponsor.com for some ridiculous recovery videos, including the companion video on handling the holidays. Until next time… Do the next right thing, take it easy, and whatever you do-- don’t drink, drug, or try to off yourself. Oh, and Happy Happy Holidays!

Xoxo, BagheadSponsor
www.BagheadSponsor.com
Saving lives. One episode at a time.

Untitled from BagheadSponsor on Vimeo.