by Regina Brett

Regina Brett

This is something we should all read at least once a week! Number 18 and 43 was DRILLED into me...how about you, any of these really strike home? enjoy ......Norma Dee

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written."

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

The children of people with alcohol or drug problems usually suffer greatly. Addicted family members are more likely to be violent or emotionally abusive, and even when abuse is not a factor, households affected by addiction can be highly disordered, unstable and unloving. As a result, children of addicts often grow up socially isolated and tend to develop emotional difficulties and behavioral problems. As they grow up, these issues can lead to antisocial behavior, mood disorders, and drug and alcohol abuse.

Sadly, because children of addicts often don’t know whom to turn to with their problems – and many don’t even realize until later on that their lives aren’t normal – they’re the most frequently underserved group when it comes to providing services for family members of addicts. Even when addicted parents seek treatment, it’s too often assumed that the children have been unaffected by the addiction.

But nothing could be further from the truth, as children of addicts commonly grow up with a range of problems that can have lasting negative impacts on their lives.

by William M. Loving, MD andJ. Scott Thornton, Ph.D.

A successful volunteer peer recovery support model was developed and is being implemented by a charitable nonprofit organization called Communities for Recovery (CforR) of Austin, Texas. The purpose of this organization is to provide recovery support for individuals suffering from chemical dependency and mental or emotional health issues. The organization was started in 2003 to serve the Chemical Dependency (CD) and Dual Disordered (DD) in-patients as well as out-patients at Seton Shoal Creek Hospital, Austin, Texas, where WML served as Medical Director. The initial objective was to offer recovery support to patients during their stay in the hospital and after discharge to reduce recidivism in this population. The Volunteers began by concentrating on the resident population which presented approximately 65% CD and 35% DD. Volunteer activities included one-on-one discussions with the patients; accompanying them to off-unit 12 Step meetings in the Hospital; and conducting on-unit informal Q and A and story-telling meetings that came to be known as Cross-Talk meetings.

by Bill Wigmore

Fr. Bill Wigmore
CEO of Austin Recovery

When I was in treatment for alcoholism many years ago, a counselor asked me a question that helped change my life. He began by saying that my alcoholism was not unlike having an inoperable cancer that was killing me. Then he asked me this life-changing-question. He asked, "If you had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and if you had also been told that there was a chance and once chance only to survive – and if that one chance meant following the directions laid out in the first 164 pages of the Big Book of Cancer Survivors Anonymous" – then the question he had for me was this: "Would I be approaching that book and following those directions any differently than I was?" The guy had me cold!

What I learned that day was actually the depth of my denial.

• Was my alcoholism really, as the • Big Book says, "of the hopeless variety?"
• Had I really placed myself • "beyond human aid" and was I truly in need of God's help to recover?

by Cynthia Moreno Tuohy, NCAC II, CCDC III, SAP

The NAADAC Executive Committee met in March to discuss NAADAC and its role in supporting its members and the profession. The Committee took a basic look at our association and its fundamentals: who we are, what we do and how we do it.

What emerged from their discussions was a determination to focus on four major areas, "four pillars" of outreach in order to strengthen and improve our association.

The Four Pillars: essential roles and reasons for NAADAC to exist. These pillars are:

• Professional Development
• Public Engagement
• Professional Services
• Communicate the Mission

Our discussions allowed us to define and describe the unique services that NAADAC offers and focus on delivering them to the best of our ability.

by James A. Baker

I am contacting you because both my pastor and my counselor tell me that I need to take anger management training, but I feel this is highly unfair. I have been a single mom for most of my years as a parent. My kids are now 18 and 16. I have scrimped for them, sacrificed for them, and worked two and three jobs at the same time for them so they can have a few nice things, and all I ask in return is a little help and respect. I ask them to do a few chores and tell me where they are going when they go out. That's IT. I don't put a big burden on them. But I never get any cooperation from them. The house is always a wreck, the dishes are always piled up in the sink, they are never at home and half the time I don't know where they are. I ground them, take their cell phones away from them, and even take their car keys away, but nothing helps. They just ignore me. Yes, I get angry, yes I yell and scream at them; yes, I probably go overboard at times, but I just don't know what to do. Things feel so out of control and I never get any respect or appreciation. Still, how can asking for a little cooperation and responsibility make ME the Bad Mother? People already treat me like this at work, why do I have to put up with it at home, too? And how can a course like yours do me any good? Both of my kids have already told me when they finish high school they are moving away and never coming back.

by Earnie Larsen

"Made a list of all people we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all"

There is a reason why Steps 8 and 9 are what they are. There is a reason why they come where they do in the order of the Steps. I want the men at the Salvation Army where I teach a class called "Insights in Recovery" to have sure understanding of what those reasons are. I feel when they do it gives them a better chance at long term and high quality recovery.

"Living in the solution" rather than "living in the problem" means living a life of true and deep connections with God, self and others. Staying connected is the key to lifelong recovery.

The first three Steps provide the foundation of recovery. They tell us there is no way a connected, spiritual life can be reached and maintained without "turning our life over to the care of the God of our understanding."Steps four and five tell us where to go after we've surrendered our lives to the care of our Higher Power. They tell us to go inside. They tell us our first task is not to convert others, get a college degree or become a national speaker. Steps four and five tell us to get serious about the character defects in our lives. They tell us to share "the exact nature" of those character defects with God, self and others.

The reason why the program tells us to go inside is because it is precisely those character defects that block us from reaching and living in the solution. Character defects are like vicious guard dogs that surround the "old Normal" of a recovering person's life forever keeping them forming the kind of connections that alone take us to the solution.

From once again normal and functonal ... Daryl

I'm currently in a methadone research program @ the University of Texas Health and Science Research Institute. It's a 6 month (free) research program w/free counseling and medication for heroin and cocaine abuse. It is a Godsend for me ! Not only do I get free counseling and med's. but they also pay me to attend ...$30.00 a week plus bus fare !!! In the begining I was there mostly for the free methadone and the 30 dollars a week for their research. But as I attended the counceling sessions I started to realize that I really did want to stop using heroin! and cocaine! For many reasons.

#1 Street drugs are dangerous (I've lost many freinds to overdosage-including myself almost)

#2 They are illegal and you could lose you're freedom-go to jail ! rhymes with hell!

#3 It kept me broke - too expensive!

#4 I'm tired of the madness of chasing the drug and some of the things that go with the pursuit of obtaining it - such as shoplifting and other madness that I would not otherwise do !

#5 The trashy people involved with illegal activities.

#6 I could go on all night but those are the `main 5 reasons.

Anyway I Loved the way methadone changed all that! I don't have to worry about getting busted anymore 'cause methadone is legal. It also is much safer due to you always know what you're getting. I can afford it so I don't have to steal and such crap that I used to do to support my illegal habit (I hated doing those things}!!! I now feel like a different person!!! I like myself again! I don't feel trashy anymore! I don't hang out with those trashy people anymore! I don't steal any more! (I never did like shoplifting - it scared the hell out me!!! But sometimes I did it to get well. Know what I mean?) Thanks to my methadone program I am a honest functioning member of society again! If it was not for my methadone program I would still and probably forever be involved in illegal activitiy that I hated but could not get around from. I tried to quit doing all drugs , it's what I really wanted , I tried hard but I always went back to opiates and pain killers. I now realize that there is something wrong with me, that will never allow that to be. I just don't feel good naturally! I don't understand why? But I know it will ALWAYS be my cross to bear -so to speak.

So I thank GOD that I found a way to live a normal functional life in society without involving myself in crime and undesireable company! I will be able to accomplish this by what is called methadone maintenace. I thank GOD and the federal goverment for allowing me to live a life without crime and to be a functional person in society! Thanks for allowing me to get treatment for my uniqe and real crisis!

GOD BLESS AMERICA!

by Alan Cohen

Alan Cohen
Acclaimed speaker and best selling author

While visiting Japan I had a breakfastmeeting with my Japanese sponsor at aresort hotel. Sitting in a corner of the diningroom, our meeting went on beyond the timebreakfast was served, and the staff wascleaning the dining room tables. I felt badabout occupying a table during the cleaningperiod, but no one said anything, so mysponsor and I continued.

Our meeting went on into the time thatthe lunch buffet opened, and I thought forsure we should leave, since the buffet wasexpensive and the hotel might think we weretrying to stay for a free lunch. At that point awaiter came to us, carrying a tray. I thoughthe was going to ask us to leave, but when Ilooked at the tray, I saw that he was bringingus a tea service. "I thought you might likesome refreshment," he told us as he servedus graciously.