Recovery Stories
Do you remember how as a child you had all these hopes and dreams for the future? You just knew that you were going to be somebody and do something big. Then that day comes when your entire world spins out of control. The next thing you know you are pulling the needle out6 of your arm for the very first time. Now you can barely remember who you are, let alone the hopes and dreams you had for the future. All you can see and feel now is complete darkness and despair.
The people I loved the most soon started to see the changes in me. I soon became this other person that no one, not even myself, could recognize. The person closest to me in the world, my own twin sister, couldn’t understand the person I had become. I soon realized that because of me we were losing that special connection we once shared as twins. Now I was someone she didn’t understand and couldn’t relate to. Soon we were spending no time together at all, then before I knew it she was gone, locked up.
My older sister said she didn’t understand how I could place dope over my own family. How I could let something have so much control over me. The look on her face when she told me she no longer saw that determination and will to fight in me that she once saw is something I play over and over again in my mind.
I can’t explain the feeling I had when the twinkle of hope my Grandma once had in her eyes when she looked at me suddenly faded and was replaced with sadness and disappointment; but I know it is something that will haunt me for years. My Grandma told me she could no longer stand by and watch me turn into this person that was consumed by anger and darkness. So my Grandma stopped coming around me; and before I knew it she was gone. She has had so many strokes now that she doesn’t even know who I am. But I know when she looks at me she doesn’t remember the person I used to be or the person I could become, but the person that cared only about getting high.
I have lost a lot due to my drug abuse --- the chance to prove myself to the people I love; my hopes, my dreams, respect, and most important, I lost myself.