by Rev. Leo Booth

The emphasis in this newspaper is recovery, sobriety and, in the wider context, wellness.
The sixty-four thousand dollar question is: How do I stay sober? And as you can imagine there are many answers to this question and I wish to explore a few.

It is really important to stay sober within the recovery community; I would say that it is important, certainly in the early years, to be at the center of fellowship. Is there a difference between the recovery community and fellowship? Not really. Although I tend to consider ‘the fellowship’ to be Twelve Step and the recovery community can involve treatment centers and various alumni.

Being ‘at the center’ affirms involvement; setting up chairs, making coffee, finding speakers etc etc. The act of simply going to a meeting is rarely enough.

I find myself recently talking about belonging to my tribe…another way of discussing recovery community. The idea came from reading about a Native America who got disconnected from his tribe and the story was how he found his way back to his people. In some ways, when I’m with the fellowship, I’m with my tribe.

Does this mean that I should only spend my non-working time with recovering people? Again, people are going to answer this question differently. However, I have many non-recovering close friends. Indeed, one of my oldest and best friends’ is a retired Episcopal priest (Kevin Taylor) who thinks it is Christmas if he has more than three whiskeys! Would I suggest for the newcomer, that they ‘hang around’ drinkers? Certainly not. In the early days better to spend your time with ‘your people; your tribe’. But we are not a cult.

Recovery does not separate itself from the world!

The need to have a sponsor. Why? It really is common sense. Even though it is not explicitly stated in the Big Book, somebody to talk with about alcoholism or sober-issues makes sense. And not just for the new-comer; but especially for the new-comer.

To move away from alcoholic drinking is more than an act, it’s discovering a new way of living. It’s creating a Sober Society. And the “ism” of alcoholism remains long after we have put the drink down.

What issues do we need to talk with a sponsor about? The same issues that became ‘gateways’ to relapse; the things that we drink over.

Relationships
Finances
Loneliness
Work conditions
Spirituality
Isolation
Fear
Shame
And many more topics.

Doesn’t it make sense to share problems with somebody that you trust and has experienced recovery? Doesn’t it make sense to talk about your emotional pain? Changing your life means making healthy choices and we all need help in getting it right…or the best plan for us. This is why we suggest sponsorship.

Recovery requires dedication. It is not difficult to stop drinking but how do we stay stopped!

I’m so grateful that I found recovery after the Big Book had been written and the meetings were established in many parts of the world. Can you imagine how hard it was for Bill Wilson, Doctor Bob and the “first-timers”?

We dedicate ourselves when we realize that creating a Sober Society is in our interest. When we stay around recovering people we have a much stronger chance of remaining sober.

This is true in many other aspects of life.

A person quitting smoking is better to avoid heavy smokers.

Healthy exercise comes easier if you attend a gym, where you see other people exercising.

Compulsive eaters do better cooking at home rather than eating in a restaurant where you feel you have paid for all the food presented, including dessert!

But how do you stay dedicated? Discipline. And it also helps if we enjoy the meetings. “Not much we can do about that?” I hear you say. Well, yes and no. No two meetings are exactly the same. Different formats, different topics, different people. If we go to a meeting that we don’t really enjoy we can always find another. Believe me, variety is the spice of life in the fellowship.

How else can we stay dedicated? Maybe step back and consider why we go to meetings. Well, we answered this in the first point above. But there is also another answer; we go to meetings to live. Not just to stay sober but to live a sober life.

What do I mean? Well, real life is more than simply spending every moment avoiding drinking…we need to live life; this involves family, friends, theatre, vacations, dating, work…and so the story grows into this wonderful thing called life.

I don’t live to go to meetings; I go to meetings to live.

This is the birth of my Sober Society. I have so many wonderful people in my life. So many places I have not seen and I want to see. New friendships to be experienced. And yes, new articles to write.

I’m not complaining.