| Prior to April 2009 | 2009 | 2010 | 2011 |
Welcome to Crazy Town!
People ask me, “BagheadSponsor, you sure seem put together. Don’t you ever get crazy or off the beam?” Heck yeah I do!! Big G knows I’ve been through some crazy times in recovery! I mean, who hasn’t? Right?! The great thing is that it’s just so easy to get back to safety. Let me explain. May I metaphor? Thank you. What I’ve noticed in my seventeen plus years of walking this path is that if I intend to walk the path of recovery, I need to keep my feet on the path of recovery, which was laid out for me by my predecessors. (Thank you!) I keep my feet on the path by keeping my eye on my destination (Recovery City) and by checking in to make sure that the steps I’m taking are going in the right direction. Sounds simple, right? That’s because it is!
So, why do we find ourselves in Crazy Town, when we were headed for Recovery City?
Thanks for asking! This is what I think happens: In my experience, I can see times in the past when I would be doing the work on a regular basis. We’re talking regular, if not daily, written 10th steps, prayer and meditation, being of service, going to meetings, doing step work with others, meeting with m y own sponsor—all of it. So I’d be feeling pretty darn good, of course! As a result, I may begin to slack off on a few things… The thoughts probably sound a little like this: “I don’t feel resentful, so why would I do a tenth step? I don’t have anything to write!” Or… “I feel connected, so I probably don’t need to meditate today.”
Eventually, my thoughts begin to shift from being of service and doing the next right thing, to something along these lines: “I probably don’t need a meeting today, after all.” Or “I don’t even really know that I miss talking to my sponsor. She always answers her phone, and I don’t feel like listening to her chatter right now. Maybe I’ll just send a quick text to let her know things are good with me.” And on and on… So, I’m taking a little break from walking on the path, you know? … kicking the shoes off for a bit… taking a look at the scenery.
You get my drift?
Do you see my drift?
I’m already beginning to drift off the path a bit—I mean, I may be following it generally, but it’s likely that I’m in the grass next to the path, or in the bushes, at this point. This is what is commonly referred to as “working MY program” rather than “working THE program.” The bottom line is that I’m focused more on my own ideas than I am on walking the path that was cleared for me by the people who know what they’re doing. Then, because my eyes are no longer on the Path of Recovery, I find myself interested in… something glittery over there in the trees! Maybe it’s money, or my career, my deep inner issues, a gloriously justified resentment, or some new Somebody Special. Whatever it is, it’s certainly sparkly! (If I look closely, it probably has something to do with the satisfaction of my instincts.) Before I know it, because I’m paying attention to my newfound shining interest, I’m headed for the woods and away from Recovery City. This is also pretty simple, eh? Here’s what sucks: Alone and deep in the woods, I see the sign, “WELCOME TO CRAZY TOWN! You made it! Our town motto is ‘Crazy Town: where instincts run high and satisfaction runs low, there’s no one to help and nowhere to go.’ Enjoy your stay!”
Not much of a vacation spot, if you ask me. Especially because we’ve all been here before, there’s just nothing new about this place.
Here’s the cool part: No matter how long I’ve been wandering around in the woods, or in Crazy Town, I know the shortcut back to the Path of Recovery. I’ll let you in on this now-- it’s always going to be a combination of telling the truth, getting to a few of the 12 step meetings of my choice, calling my sponsor, working the 12 steps, and being of service to my fellows. Essentially, you could look at the 12 steps as a high end GPS system. Again, super simple.
Now, you may be asking yourself, “When will I ever reach Recovery City? I’ve been walking this path for X number of years already!” Ha! I’m sure you’ve heard the expression “The journey is the destination” right? Yes. I thought so. So, we may as well enjoy walking the path! This is it! It’s awesome. And it’s a good walk.
So, that’s that, ya’ll! Do the work. That’s pretty much my message. Hope you like it. And, if not, do the work anyway and call your sponsor about your feelings on the matter. I’m sure she’ll be happy to hear from ya!
Now, what makes me the expert? Not much. But I do have my own show, and it’s dang funny.
Speaking of the show-- it’s already time to plug that sucker! I hope you’ll join us on www.BagheadSponsor.com for some ridiculous recovery videos, including this article’s companion video on “When Crazy Returns!” It’s almost as if decent and hilarious commentary on the 12 step program of your choice is just a mouse click away. Until next time… do the next right thing, take it easy, and whatever you do-- don’t drink, drug, or try to off yourself. Oh, and enjoy your walk.
Xoxo, BagheadSponsor
www.BagheadSponsor.com
Saving lives. One episode at a time.
Episode 21: When Crazy Returns (for the oldtimers) From BagheadSponsor.
