by Debra Winger BA. LCDC

If you want someone to fall in love with you, you need to figure out what they need, (not want) more then anything in the world and then you need to meet that need better then anyone in the world and they will probably fall in love with you. Wants are desires we are aware of on the conscious level and may vary from person to person, but needs on the sub-conscious level, known or unknown to the individual are the real motivators humans are driven to fulfill. If you want to solve your addiction problem, you need to figure out what need your drug of choice or excessive alcohol use is meeting for you; and then you need to find something else to meet that need better or at least equally.

When Nancy Reagan said, “Just say no,” to drugs, she never took into consideration, the fact that in order to say no to anything, one needs to understand the reasons for saying no. Drug Education may give us sound reasons to say no, but will not provide the motivation and the power to say no. Counseling from a Holistic viewpoint will help us understand the real reasons why we can’t say no and provide us with the tools to help us say no and to be happy doing so. It will help reveal to us the underlying reasons why people with addiction problems in the chemical dependency stage will continue their drug use, despite all of the physical, emotional, family, social, legal and economic problems their drug of choice brings. In my years of experience in this work, boredom, low self-esteem, unresolved depression, guilt, loss of faith, family problems, dislike of work, self-medication for untreated medical and mental health problems and stress relief, and a way to deal with anger have been the most common reasons people give for their drug and alcohol abuse after some time in counseling instead of the usual response in the beginning, “I just like to get high!” To a person who inherited the high tolerance, risk-taking and impulsive personality genetic tendency towards addiction, these are valid needs met through their addiction. These needs must be recognized and met in better ways or addiction will continue.

According to the American Heritage Dictionary, the definition of the word holistic, (an adjective) relates to holism and emphasizes the importance of the whole and the interdependence of its parts and is concerned with wholes rather then the analysis or separation into parts. Interdependence and interconnectedness are the key words here. Let’s consider a wagon wheel with seven wooden spokes. If a couple spokes are broken, it may turn but not so efficiently, but if half the spokes are broken, it is barely turning at all and when more then half of the spokes are broken it will probably fall off of the wagon. In the abuse stage of addiction, the wheel is still turning although not efficiently, but by the full dependence stage, the wheel ceases to turn all-together. This is where holistic thinking begins and ends. Everything is interdependent and interconnected in our life as an individual and in society as a whole whether we like it or not!

Each spoke on the wheel has a part to play in order for the wheel to turn efficiently. Each spoke of the wheel represents an important area of our life as human beings. In order to be happy and successful in life fulfilling our full potential we need to have all the spokes in the wheel functioning correctly. In addiction, if all the spokes in the wheel are not repaired, relapse is inevitable and long term recovery is impossible. Many counseling programs concentrate only on one treatment philosophy or counseling method and thereby limit their potential, but in recent years, holistic thinking, seeing the good in all methods to help diverse populations with different types of problems has taken wings. The medical profession now sees the need to treat mental and physical causes of disease and environmentalists see the connectedness of man with nature in ecology. Bio-psycho-social counseling philosophies in substance abuse treatment are utilized in true holistic style.

People are complex, we have physical needs, emotional needs, family and social needs and spiritual needs and these are the four main spokes in the wheel. We have vocational and economic needs, legal problems to fix and a reason for existence need that needs to be met in order to be happy and fulfilled in life. If we only deal with needs in one area of life, the wheel of life will not function adequately. Getting appropriate medical treatment for all medical problems including medicine to control the cravings and withdrawal symptoms in some clients with severe dependency need to be addressed. Good diet and health habits need to be cultivated through education and referrals for social services if needed. Smoking cessation and HIV/STD education should be provided on the biological spoke. Unresolved depression and irrational, negative thinking patterns should be addressed on the Psychological need spoke through

Rational-emotive-behavioral therapy, Rogerian Person-centered or Reality therapy and other cognitive methods and through referrals to psychiatrists for co-occurring serious mental health disorders which should be treated concurrently in order for substance abuse treatment to proceed successfully. Anger-management, recognizing triggers and relapse prevention education all fit well on this spoke as well as bio-psycho-social alcohol and drug education.,

Family and social needs must be met and problems resolved in order for recovery to progress. Many treatment centers are wise to include family educational and recreational days in treatment and to make referrals to marriage counseling whenever couples are willing to attend to deal with important issues affecting personal happiness and recovery. New hobbies and volunteer work and social involvement must be initiated and individualized client to client according to personality and cultural considerations.

Spiritual needs, unresolved guilt and loss of faith, inability to forgive one-self and others should be addressed through church participation if the client is open to the idea, through AA, NA. Al-Anon and other support groups and through active participation in group therapy in treatment if the program is so inclined in this direction to help deal with needs on the spiritual needs spoke.

Educational and vocational needs can be addressed through appropriate referrals to Work-Force, Good-Will and local colleges and through the Jung Typology Test available free online to help them understand which personality traits that they possess are factors in being successful in certain professions. They help a client understand their personality type out of the 16 main types common to people as it relates to life, relationships, addiction and work aiding in recovery while beginning to repair the Economic/Vocational needs spoke of the wheel.

Legal needs must be resolved through active recovery and active participation with probation or parole requirements. All of the above needs discussed so far are interconnected again and necessary in order to repair this spoke of the wheel.

The Reason to existence need can only be met after other spokes on the wheel are in the process of being repaired. How can one find ones place in the world while in the midst of turmoil and suffering, economic and legal problems, physical and mental pain, family feuds, social conflict or spiritual loss? Some may find the vision to see their reason for existence in the midst of conflict, but this is not the norm. As a counselor, I have found my reason for existence. If I can leave anyone better then where I found them and if I can play a small part in helping someone else find their reason for existence through the holistic repair of broken spokes in the ever-turning wheel of life, I am blessed. I will never lose my reason for existence as long as I live on Planet Earth.