Are you really powerless over alcohol and/or drugs and/or (insert your favorite thing to destroy your life with)? I think it’s a valid question. I mean, the last thing I want to do is walk around surrendering things I don’t actually need to surrender! (That’s a joke.)

When someone finally explained the concept of powerlessness to me, in a way that explained all of my behaviors, experiences and thinking, it freed me up so much that I was able to stop making myself wrong for having the disease of alcoholism and addiction. It became clear to me that I was actually powerless- not weak willed, stupid, or pure trash. When I really got the concept, I realized that my inability to stay clean and sober actually made sense! I had lost the power of choice, because of how my body reacts to the substances, and how my thinking becomes consumed with an excruciatingly sophisticated obsession. Add to that the fact that I have a spiritual malady (major living problem) and you’ve got yourself one crazy drunk girl!

Unlike normal people, ultimately, I don’t get a say in the matter of drugs and alcohol. Kind of like how I don’t get a say in my severe allergy to cedar. Only, the difference is that my cedar allergy doesn’t affect my thinking—so, naturally, I don’t find myself driving down to Cedar Valley just to see what’s going on out there. “Hey, I wonder what’s going on down in Cedar Valley? I should swing by. Sure, last time I got welts all over my body and ended up in the emergency room, because my throat closed up, but I figure the trees probably aren’t in full bloom right now. It’d be a great time to swing by and just look at the leaves.”

Sounds insane, right? Yeah. I mean, if nothing else, it sounds like a recipe for misery and a potentially life-threatening situation. I can see the insanity of the whole cedar thing, because I’m not a cedar addict.

Now, may I draw an illustration of the spiritual malady using the cedar scenario? I may, thank you. When I’m without cedar, I don’t have an extremely difficult time living life. Transplant me to Antarctica, or anywhere else that cedar trees cease to grow. I guarantee you I’m not going to feel empty inside, restless, or irritable and dissatisfied with life without those trees. Weird, I know.

Cedar doesn’t affect my thinking or my spirit. Alcohol and drugs, on the other hand, had so affected my body, spirit and mind, that I could no longer figure myself out of the disease—everything I had to work with (mind, spirit and body) were terribly afflicted with the disease I was trying to conquer. Naturally, after any resolve to stop, I inevitably found myself drunk or high again—at the expense of my own life. And it wasn’t my fault.

Without sounding like a cliché, it was a vicious circle.

In short, it goes a little like this:

1. Take a drink/drug.
2. Allergy/craving kicks in (diseased body)- continue drinking/drugging despite consequences.
3. Make a resolution to stop. But, without the drink/drug, life is unbearable.
4. Diseased mind steps in to save me from my spiritual malady (living problem) and has an idea (obsession): Pick up a drink/drug (and I can’t distinguish the true from the false, now, because my thinking is diseased)
5. Pick up. Because it makes sense. Then, start over at the beginning of the vicious and destructive circle again.

And that, my friends, is precisely why I continuously found myself behind doors with no knobs on my side.

If that sounds at all familiar, you might want to get clear on the concept of powerlessness so that you can let a power (that actually works) step in and take your place in the game. You lose. Thanks for playing!

Lookie here-- it’s already time to shut my trap and plug the show! I hope you’ll join us on www.BagheadSponsor.com for some ridiculous recovery videos, including this article’s companion video on “Powerlessness with Stick Man Stan” – if you have any question about what powerlessness looks like, watch this episode! This episode = questions answered! Until next time… do the next right thing, take it easy, and whatever you do-- don’t drink, drug, or try to off yourself. Oh, and hit a meeting of your choice.

Xoxo, BagheadSponsor
www.BagheadSponsor.com
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Episode 18: Powerlessness Explained! (With Stick Man Stan) from BagheadSponsor on Vimeo.