In our classes we always say, as we explained in the article on the First Step, “Let’s start at the start.”

If the alcoholic/addict’s problem is a condition called spiritual bankruptcy and it is manifested by isolation and lack of connection with God, self and others. Then that lack of connection along with the use of a mind altering substance causes a total degeneration of one’s character.

The solution is only found by forming those humble, honest connections with God, self and others that usher in on-going spiritual awakenings that alone are the “answer” to spiritual bankruptcy.

Then what part does working the Steps in general and Step Three in particular have to do with the problem and the solution? Where does Step Three fit? What does it do for the one working that Step? And why do so many seem to have such a problem with “turning it over” that Step Three is all about?

Keeping connected is another way of saying, “establishing relationships.” Being connected is being in relationship with God, self and others. “Turning our life and will over to the care of God…” is a spiritual leap requiring sooner or later getting serious with oneself about our capacity to be in a relationship with anyone, including God. Whatever blocks a person’s ability to function in relationships is an obstacle to working Step Three. Such as.

Many people confuse spirituality with religion. If a person comes into the Fellowship with bad to disastrous experiences with religion, and figure the Program is asking them to “be religious” then of course they want no part of it.

So, it is important for such people to understand that the spirituality of the Fellowship absolutely does not demand affiliation with any church, religion or theological tradition.

Many people also come into the Fellowship consumed by guilt, shame and self-contempt. These emotional states of course make it impossible, at the beginning, to believe or accept that God or anyone else would or could “care” about them let …alone want them to “turn their lives over” to them.

Alcoholic/Addicts in active addiction, or just out of them, are the world’s greatest control freaks. Alcoholic/addicts will go “to any lengths” to maintain the illusion of control. When first running into the content of the Third Step, which sounds awfully like releasing control of one’s life, even to God, many shy away. If that individual is not willing to “stick around until the miracle happens,” they shy away all the way out the door.

And then there is the sad truth that many people in and new to the Fellowship simply never learn to trust. They don’t know what it is. No one ever taught them. So when the Third Step asks them to trust all the way to “turning their lives and will over to the care of God” they have no foundation to stand on. It takes heroic patience and willingness to learn for a person illiterate in the ways of trust to stick around until they learn to surrender to the meaning of the Third Step.

There are other reasons people find the Third Step difficult. But these four are usually at the top of the list.

The men who come to us at the Salvation Army or other places I have had the honor of being involved with aren’t any different than anyone else beginning recovery. Maybe our population comes from a deeper, darker place than some. But the road to where everyone in recovery is going is the same. Very much including what the Third Step asks of us.

It’s pretty clear that making a decision to “turn our lives and will over to the care of God” is about as different as an alcoholic/addict’s life in active addiction can get. But the meaning of the Step, the meaning of all the Steps, we try to get to in our programs goes far deeper than “it’s pretty clear.”

“Pretty clear” has the feeling of the logical to it. It’s rational. It makes sense. Nothing wrong with making logical sense, but if that’s as deep as it goes it hasn’t gone any place at all. Spiritual understanding happens on a far deeper level than intellectual understanding. Only that “deeper level” is strong enough to make a difference for us.

WHY TURN IT OVER?

Some of the men who come to us profess a deep belief in God. But somehow that belief wasn’t strong enough to keep them clean and sober. Something was lacking. It could be many things but one thing that always stands out is that: there is a world of difference between knowing about God and having an experience of God. And then using what was experienced in that experience as a foundation for a life of recovery. (Which is what staying connected to God means.)

We harp on the question, “Why turn your life over?” The answer is because the way you were living your life wasn’t working too well. We go back over the previous work on the “insanity” that addiction brought to their lives. We have them pull out what they wrote was “the worst time in my addiction” that they did (and we described in earlier articles) in working on the previous steps. We confront them with looking at what their life was like BEFORE recovery. We have them hold up their BEFORE like a mirror. What of that is worth keeping? We ask. What’s to be lost by trying something new? It couldn’t get worse – so why not try something truly new.

Why turn our lives over to the “care of God”? Why God at all? What has God have to do with anything?

The answer to those questions is that WHEN YOUR ADDICTION COMES CALLING THERE IS NO POWER ON EARTH THAT WILL KEEP YOU SOBER. Nearly all our men have a PhD in relapse. There is nothing they have not tried to relieve the “physical allergy, the mental obsession and the spiritual malady” of alcoholism/addiction. They could write a thesis on what does not work. They KNOW what doesn’t work. So what does?

GOD AS WE UNDERSTOOD HIM TO BE

There is an obvious space limitation in writing short articles. No way in the world can I communicate the power, wonder and beauty of ushering the men through the glory of their own story. Most, with the clarity of sobriety and direction from staff come to see how the God of their understanding has protected and led them in amazing ways their whole life long.

He build on the realization of God in their lives that was begun in the First Step work. We move them along not just with the questions but to the answers. Like what was your first step experience like? How did God elbow his way into your life to get you started in recovery? Why are you here getting a 2nd (or third or tenth) chance to make something of your life while millions of other brothers and sisters don’t?

As the men share the usually unrecognized blessings that have always been in their lives – and are magnified by being given another chance at recovery – slowly (and sometimes explosively) emerge. The face of “the God of their understanding” appears and it becomes ever more obvious why it is safe (and necessary) for them to “turn their will and life over” especially to the “care” of the God who has been blessing them every step of the way.