- Psychic Change
Watch Your Words
It has been a battle but I am finally ready to admit I have an anger problem. For a long time, I blamed my behavior on my wife, or my boss, or my kids or the dog. It seemed like anything could set me off. It still does but I am trying to do better. The problem now is that nothing I say seems to be right, especially where my wife is concerned. Honest, I am not trying to start fights but it seems like anytime I express my opinion about anything, she jumps down my throat and accuses me of being mean or insensitive. Sometimes it just gets to be too much and I end up snapping and it goes from bad to worse. I want to change. What am I doing wrong?
Confused in Connecticut
When We’ll All Get There
I live on a country road that gets so skinny at some points that only one car can pass. When two cars meet, one of them must back up or pull to the side of the road to make way for the other. While the process is inconvenient, it calls for cooperation and saying hi to neighbors. It’s refreshing.
The other day I was on my way to an important meeting I did not want to be late for. At one of the thin junctures I encountered my neighbor Dean approaching in his truck. The moment came when we had to decide which vehicle would yield. While normally I wouldn’t have minded backing up, that day I wished I didn’t have to. Dean seemed to read my mind and he congenially backed his truck up quite a way to let me pass. When I passed him I rolled down my window to say thanks. “No problem,” he smiled. “We’ll all get where we need to get when we need to get there.”Read more...
Is There a “Secret” to Getting Sober?
After watching a movie several years ago called “The Secret” about the law of attraction and showing it to a group of patients at a rehab, I knew there was not just one secret or way to getting sober. I realized I had been using these secrets all along with my clients and in my recovery but didn’t have a name for it. Soon I discovered it is our own thoughts, both consciously and unconsciously, that we put out into the universe that creates our realities, both positive and negative. I learned that thoughts are a type of energy, and the energy you vibrate out into the world is the same energy you will receive or attract back into your life.Read more...
Walking Out of Hopelessness
Most addicts have to get to a place of hopelessness and despair in order to walk through the doors that offer sobriety and, yes, change. For various reasons there are times alone, when feelings of despair can surface, and one might not be unable to pick up the phone or get to a meeting. Throughout the years in sobriety, I have learned to walk. Walk to the bus, walk to the meeting or walk through the doors. I have learned to walk around the block; sometimes I have had to walk in place. I have also learned to walk from situations that are fruitless, or against my higher better judgment, one step at a time.
One of the most difficult feelings to bare “stone cold sober” is a sense of hopelessness. Being extreme sensation seekers, the idea of being “okay” may sound strange, and for some, impossible. However, by the time most addicts reach sobriety they are exhausted. “Okay” can be pretty good medicine and it is available RIGHT NOW. Getting good at “okay” can lead to a deeper sense of well-being. Developing and maintaining a sense of well-being takes practice. Personally, I like to do something every day. Ideally, I take (at least) 20 minutes of some sort of exercise and a daily practice of meditation.To begin a practice, one might start with one to three times a week.Read more...